unconditional love.

during one of our nightly team meetings while in ghana we were going around sharing different things that we noticed and appreciated - high points of our days. what struck me that day, but also every day, was the unconditional love that each of our youth had for the children in ghana. without knowing anything about them, without considering the dirt and filth that some of them carried on their bodies, none of them ever hesitated to embrace them, whether it be with words or with physical touch. immediately and no matter what, they loved them...unconditionally.

this past week, upon reflecting on good friday and easter - the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ - i became more aware of how far i am from who God wants me to be. sure, i can do "good" things like going on a missions trip to ghana. but the hard reality is that i so often try to forget is that my heart still has evil in it, no matter how good i try to be. i am sinful by nature. because of this i am reminded of the importance of holy week but also of what my response to this sacrifice needs to be. Christ came to serve, i need to serve. today i am struck by the unconditional love that God offers us, freely. the words to a song by tenth avenue north have been playing in my head...words of promise that God would sing to us every day, no matter what.

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends."

(Times - Tenth Avenue North)

just like our students so embraced the hands of the children, God embraces us - unconditionally. if only we so quickly sought after Him like those children so desired just to walk and hold our hands.

more of ghana.

ghana.

transitions.

31 March 2010 / 1 April 2010

After one day of transition, I am forced to dive back into reality today. I am not ready. I cannot function quite yet – I almost feel as though I am “sick”. In a lot of ways my transition back to the United States after five months in Kenya was easier than this – I had more time to adjust, more time to process. It’s amazing what eleven days can do. As excited as I am to see family and friends again and to share about our experience in Ghana, in some ways I feel like I am grieving. There is a part of me, a part of my heart, which is still in Ghana.

As hard as it is right now to even begin to think about attempting to share about our trip I know that it is such an important part of adjusting. For one, I can barely figure out how to put any of it into words. I know a lot of people asking about the trip will be perfectly content with hearing a day to day report of what we did – I can give those simple answers. However, I am not content with basic responses. It is much more complicated than that. For now though, I am not sure how to express the deeper layers of emotions. I have friends and/or family asking me various questions about the trip - questions that seem very basic and straightforward, but questions that I can’t seem to answer. I feel bad because I know those who are asking are genuinely interested and care deeply about me but also our mission there. Yet here I am, speechless. At first I could use the explanation of being jetlagged and still recovering from time change and lack of sleep, but eventually those excuses will run out. One of the problems is that I have so much to say and I don’t know where to start. But even more difficult is figuring out how to communicate all that I saw and experienced and felt and learned to someone who has no understanding of it at all, no matter how hard they try or how much they desire to listen. My instinct is to fall back on my Ghana team.

The team has become family to me. I think that the bond is even stronger now than it was while we were there in Ghana. There is a comfort in knowing that they get it. Without even saying anything I can walk up to any of them, give them a hug or even just an exchange of looks, and know that there is an understanding between us. It goes far deeper than just inside jokes or shared experiences. For 11 days we travelled together and served together – God became more real than any of us could have imagined. Each day we offered ourselves as God’s servants and saw that ALL THINGS are possible through Him who strengthens us. Ghana showed us faith, hope, and love.

I offer the words of Paul as a prayer for my team: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:16-21)