honey rock landscape design...

"But he would feed you with the finest of the wheat, 

and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." 

Psalm 81:16

it's official, people. we have a certified trade name. you guessed it, Honey Rock Landscape Design. i feel it necessary to credit a few people for the name. it was my husband who mentioned it as a business name. tim keller brought it to his attention in his sermon called 'Honey from the Rock' in his discipline series. keller is of course referencing the psalm, which speaks to God's provisions in our life. there is more to be done in the establishing of the company. mostly, more work needs to be acquired. but here is a bit of what we have done...

we are thankful for the vitiello's, our first customers. the potted plants for their backyard deck was the second job they gave me. first we did a landscape planting in their front yard. some before, during, and after's...

summer is flying by?

the conversation began with me commenting to jay that it seems too early for the kids to be done with school. sorry guys, it's not that i don't want summer vacation for you, it just seems like it came quickly. in my mind, it should be another two or three weeks. i think it has something to do with the odd spring we have had. the strange weather. warm march. no rain in april. very rainy may. and now june is about halfway over.

a woman at jay's work said something about how she can't believe how quickly summer is flying by. summer hasn't even started yet, lady. slow down!

summer doesn't really change things for us, technically. it is more of a mental thing. i think when it comes down to it, we both enjoy spring, summer and fall more than winter. don't get me wrong, i do love some of winter. february 11th in particular.

i have a list in my notebook at work of things i want to do/accomplish this summer. don't worry, it doesn't distract me from my work. it is there for me to quickly jot an idea down when it comes to mind. i don't have it in front of me, but i know it looks something like this...

lake george (last weekend in july with the family)
ocean grove (first weekend in july, to celebrate george and anna's wedding)
baltimore (dates to be determined)
sussex county fair
warwick drive in movie theater
boardwalk
mohonk mountain house - rock scrambling
camping/kayaking trips
nj jackals or ny mets baseball game
bbq at a park (one with grills on site, picnic style)
nyc
carnival (we missed the gsp dare carnival, but i am sure there will be more)

i know there is more, but i am coming up blank at the moment. on top of those trips or outings i have several other things i want to accomplish. mostly pertaining to the house. our back room desperately needs unpacking, recyling of boxes, throwing away of unneeded items, organizing, decorating, etc. i also want to do some work in the kitchen - i simply need more space for food and such. i want to attack the blinds/curtains, primarily the living room and bathroom. of course i would love to purchase a new tv stand, and perhaps that will be done, but i have to keep priorities in mind and consider costs. i suppose i should get more of my stuff from my parents, too, huh? not until i have this place a little more under control.

so who wants to join me in these activities?

take my heart, i lay it down

at the feet of You whose crowned

take my life, i'm letting go

i lift it up to You whose throned

and i will worship You, Lord

only You, Lord

and i will bow down before You

only You, Lord

take my fret, take my fear

all i have, i'm leaving here

be all my hopes, be all my dreams

be all my delights, be my everything

and i will worship You, Lord

only You, Lord

and i will bow down before You

only You, Lord

and it's just You and me here now

only You and me here now

You should see the view

when it's only You

(only You - david crowder band)

sometimes God uses the most unexpected people, the most unexpected times and circumstances and situations, to grab a hold of our attention and speak to our heart. He uses those as his voice to speak to us in the time when we need it most. not necessarily when we want it, but when we need it. 

i went to youth group tonight not expecting a whole lot. not that i expected to be bored or disappointed, but just anticipated the "usual". i have to admit, i don't think my heart has always been in the right place when it comes to youth group and my serving in that role. but tonight, the unexpected came through to me at a time when i needed it to. 

trust. trust God. i don't always have the easiest time trusting people (though i have found that i often end up trusting the most random people), especially not with my life or my heart. sure, i could blame it on past experience. i could use psychology to explain why any certain experience may have led to my having difficulty with trust. most of them would be rational and understandable and justifiable. but i don't want to make excuses. we have to move on from any past hurts or betrayals or disappointments. we have to start new every day and not assume that what happened once will necessarily happen again. 

most of all, i need to know that i can (and should) trust God. i should trust Him always. i should trust Him first and foremost. most other relationships will let us down at one time or another. but God never will. God desires good for me. God desires my heart and my life - He desires me. most of the time, i only give him parts of it, or most of it. but that part that i try to hold onto is what hinders me. my desire to be in control actually causes my downfall. 

thank you, ben, for being so clear about what it means to trust God. thank you for being the voice to stir my heart into re-realizing that i need to give up everything and trust Him. 

i give up my life. i give Him my heart. i hand over my frets and fears. and all i am left to do is to worship and bow down to, to put my hope in a God who loves me and died for me. why wouldn't i trust in that? 

DIVINE ROMANCE - PHIL WICKHAM


the fullness of Your grace is here with me
the richness of Your beauty's all i see
the brightness of Your glory has arrived
in Your presence God, i'm completely satisfied


all for you, i sing i dance
rejoice in this divine romance
lift my heart and my hands
to show my love, to show my love


a deep deep flood, an ocean flows from You
of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life 
in Your presence God, i'm completely satisfied 



all for you, i sing i dance
rejoice in this divine romance
lift my heart and my hands
to show my love, to show my love

God is my Shepherd

i won't be wanting

i won't be wanting

He makes me rest

in fields of green

with quiet streams

even though i walk

through the valley

of death and dying

i will not fear

'cause You are with me

You are with me

Your shepherd staff

comforts me

You are my feast

in the presence of enemy

surely goodness

will follow me

follow me

in the house of God, forever

(house of God, forever - jon foreman)

remember how i said i often have songs running through my head? well, this is the song of the week, it seems. i was at church early this week to fill in with greeting and welcoming, so i had the privilege of hearing the praise band not only lead it during worship but also rehearse it. it wasn't the first time i heard it but i do love it.

i have to be honest though. it was difficult for me to join in singing along with them. so i stood quietly, letting my heart and soul just absorb the words. 

i feel as though i have been walking through the valley lately. not of death and dying, but just of ongoing struggles and battles, mostly with myself. a part of me feels guilty to speak of any sort of valley, or to get emotional and mention "struggles", because when it comes down to it there is absolutely nothing "wrong" in my life right now. there is no family or friend tragedy. i am actually incredibly blessed in so many ways. but for whatever reason, my head and my heart (and therefore my soul) have been battling. against each other. with themselves. with others. the devil is very aware of my fragility and seems to be adding to it constantly. 

i try to fight it daily. but i cannot. the more i fight, the more i lose. thankfully, i have a God who is my Shepherd. 

it takes some serious breaking down to get someone as stubborn and independent as me to realize that only God can get me through. and He will get me through. He uses people close to me as His means of not only working on me, but also comforting me and reminding me of God's love. there is no need to fear. trust in God. 

this song also reminds me of God's faithfulness, which helps point me in the right direction. the night before my mom's operation to remove her cancer our Bible study recited psalm 23 together as a reminder of God's goodness and promise to walk with us. not only did the surgery go very well, her treatment with the most minimal side effects, but she is also healthy and strong and almost 5 years in remission. PTL. 

trust steadily in God. hope unswervingly. love extravagantly. 

champ.

he is a champ in my book in so many ways. i am blessed to be his wife.

on march 24th, jason ran a half marathon with world vision in order to help raise money to provide water for people in need in africa.

jason with frank, his pastor, friend, and training partner.

some of the savior CC team

it is finished.

"when Jesus had received the sour wine, he said,

'it is finished,'

and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."

john 19:30

there is nothing left to be done, it is finished. God's wrath has been satisfied. every sin of every person to have lived in past, living in the present (time of Jesus' crucifixion), and to live in the future has been forgiven. there was no other way to complete it; there is nothing left to be completed. it is finished.

i don't know if i always live as if it is finished. obviously the completion of atonement doesn't mean that i no longer sin, that i have been made perfect. i fall short each and every day, multiple times a day. my awareness of this, my need to "fix" things, and my independent nature leads me to try to receive further forgiveness. i don't think i do it consciously - sin, realize my mistakes, and do something good to make up for it. it is below the surface. but there is nothing i can do to make it more finished. that wasn't part of God's plan.

it is finished. life like it is. live in gratitude for the completion. live in recognition that we need Jesus as our Savior each and every day.

God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, the sabbath. last night frank (pastor frank, to be more accurate) pointed out that Jesus rested on the seventh day too. his work was complete and on the seventh day he rested. today - the day in between good friday and easter - was a day of rest. His last week on earth started with the Triumphal Entry on Palm Sunday. we don't have a day-by-day account of Jesus' "creation", but we can take what we have from the Gospels to know that Jesus last week on earth was full of teaching and preparing. it was more or less his last chance to teach his disciples and prepare them for their ministries.

Jesus washes their feet, an example that he wants them to follow, both literally and figuratively. live as servants. put others first. He gives them a "new" commandment: love one another. He explains that he is the way, the truth, and the life. He promises a helper, the Holy Spirit. He describes himself as the true vine, that we are branches of this true vine. our branches are to bear fruit (through the true vine) but our branches need pruning. He warns them of persecution and being hated by the world. He tries to explain as best as possible, without just spelling it out for them, what is about to happen. He tells them that sorrow will turn to joy. He prays. Jesus, the Savior of the world, prays in submission to His Father. "glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you' (john 17:1). He breaks bread with His disciples, establishing a tradition to celebrate until we eat and drink with Him one day in Heaven.

as his time draws nearer, Jesus prays again in the Garden of Gethsemane. his time comes and Jesus experiences the ultimate betrayal. judas, one of the twelve disciples that he has been loving and teaching and guiding for several years now, betrays him and hands him over. judas betrays him in leading the soldiers, chief priests and pharisees to him, but Jesus offers himself voluntarily.

good friday. a culmination of events that are hard to imagine, hard to watch depictions (in movies such as 'the passion of the Christ'). Jesus suffers immense physical pain and torture. but we cannot forget the emotional and spiritual pain he suffers. betrayal. denial of another disciple. separation from His Father, forsaken.

all for love. for love of God's will and for love of His people. for love of me.

after all of this, he rests.

can you imagine what was going through the minds of His disciples on this day? can you imagine what His mother felt? although they had been told many times, did they really understand what the next day would bring? did they hold out hope for the 8th day?

'love never fails...and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. but the greatest of these is love.' (1 corinthians 13:8a, 13)

'we love because He first loved us.' (1 john 4:19)

these are a few of my favorite things...

i have to confess that these photos were not taken this season, or even this spring. i think they are from the fall actually - a day when kate and i took the boys (more like she took the boys and me) to the glen rock arboretum. she already had her new camera at that point so she handed off her old one for me to start using and "practicing" (i say practicing because she and adam generously gave it to jay and i for christmas).

but these photos do represent something that i do love - the outdoors. nature. plants. perennials, shrubs and trees. i love being among them, i loved selling them, i love designing their perfect spots and locations in a landscape.

it makes sense, then, that i would use this love and turn it into a career...or soon to be. jay and i are working towards developing a landscape design company. it is all very exciting. i have been playing around and practicing using the program i will design with - dynascape. dynascape design, dynascape color, and eventually dynascape sketch 3D. that is right folks. soon you will be able to see my designs in a 3D format. (i guess that is really just 2D until it is an actual landscape)

i am very excited about this endeavor. alongside this endeavor i am also beginning a new job. i have been unemployed for just over 17 months and now i am stepping back into the work world. i will be employed by paul keys associates doing very similar work to my past job, except that it is landscape exclusive.

new endeavors. new stages in life. new schedules and routines (not to mention that i will have to be in tenafly by about 7:15am). it is all new to me, which could and can be scary at times, but i won't let the unknowns and fears take hold. it is new, but God is still the same. He is faithful. He is present. He goes with me and before me.

sanctification:

- "the state of growing in divine grace"

it was good? can you imagine what our once perfect and sinless creation looked like? the beauty of blooming spring flowers certainly provides an allusion to eden, but it isn't the real deal. it isn't the "very good" creation that God made. this isn't what God intended.

forget creation. look at us - look at me, look at you, look around. we aren't what God intended either.

just like flowering spring trees provides an allusion of the good that was intended, we can occasionally sprout some things that resemble "good". but i am far from what God intended of me.

sanctification. sanctification provides hope for me, for you, for us. although we are currently justified, we will also one day be completely sanctified. i long for that day.

all this earth

could all that is lost ever be found

could a garden come up from this ground at all

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things out of dust

you make beautiful things

you make beautiful things out of us

all around

hope is springing up from this old ground

out of chaos life is being found in You

(gungor - beautiful things)

God intended me to be beautiful, but i am not beautiful today. one day, though.

p.s.

my apologies for all of the wordy and boring, photo-less blogs lately. it's a shame because jay and i were actually generously given a very nice camera for christmas (thank you, culps) and i haven't used it since costa rica...nor have i downloaded the photos to my computer yet. lazy? i didn't think so, but maybe! partly also due to the fact that i have left my computer to my parents temporarily while they deal with their computer issues. i promise, i will get some good photos on here soon enough!

until then, just deal.

psalm 1

"blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

that person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither -

whatever they do prospers.

not so the wicked!

they are like chaff

that the wind blows away.

therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement,

nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

for the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked leads to destruction."

psalm 1

when the forsythia blooms...

jay thinks that it should be a title of a book, when the forsythia blooms. instead i use it for the title of the post but cannot claim to be the originator of the phrase. i just like it.

summer was most likely my favorite season growing up as a kid for obvious reasons - off from school. even when you are no longer enrolled in any sort of education, summer still has its draws. there is something about it that feels a bit more relaxing. even when i was working and my sisters (both teachers at various points) were off for the summer i still felt much of the summer vibe.

but over the past few years i have discovered my love of spring. i think it probably started in college. i went to school in michigan - grand rapids, michigan to be exact. i am not sure if it is an accurate claim but much of the dreary and depressing weather of grand rapids from october-may is blamed on the "lake effect". or maybe that is just what all of the snow is explained by. regardless, grand rapids is a pretty gloomy place, in terms of weather, from what i remember lasting from mid-october till just about the beginning of may. i don't think i am exaggerating too much. the winter felt very long even when it wasn't snowing. i became aware of seasonal affective disorder in psychology and it quickly made sense to me - i felt down because of the lack of sun and green nature.

then spring came. commons lawn regained its lush, dark green color. the tulips (this is the land of the dutch, you know) bloomed. trees budded leaves and flowers. the sky more frequently rid itself of gloomy clouds and let the sun shine through its blueness. spring came and my spirits were renewed.

i believe my first post-college job at the nursery further developed my love of spring. partly because i loved returning from a winter of unemployment (the bittersweet reality of seasonal work) and getting back to work in mid-march. but also, we received delivery after delivery of beautiful, sweet-smelling, colorful plants. star magnolias, kwanzan cherries, chinese dogwoods. azaleas, lilacs, andromeda. and of course, forsythia.

as i drive around now, or on bike rides or walks, i notice the increasing colors. i take in the scents of spring. especially today, walking through the hundreds of cherry trees (many of which have started to bloom), i notice my mood shift. i start to walk a bit lighter. i hold my head up more often. yes, i feel myself become more "jill"...when the forsythia blooms.

self-checkout

unless i have a shopping cart full of items (and by "full" i mean, more than 15 individual items), and so long as it is offered, i always use self-checkout at stores. part of me loves the role of the cashier - moving things down the conveyor belt...which doesn't really exist on the self-checkouts, but i can pretend...finding the bar code on an item and scanning it, bagging it strategically so that nothing gets damaged or spoiled. when we were young we had a toy cash register that i just loved. i remember rummaging around the house for things to scan at the "store". part of me chooses the self-check out to be faster. but who am i kidding, it is never faster.

the majority of the time, my self-checkout register gives me enough problems to make the whole process unenjoyable and much longer than it needs to be or would be if i just went to a cashier. the worst is when you have a problem, it requires the help of an employee, and no one is anywhere to be found. then finally, minutes later, one shows up. they simply enter a code and the "problem" is solved. (mind you, there never was a problem - the machine just chose to act up even though i scanned the item properly and put it in a bag as required)

but sometimes i am reckless, in a rush, and don't follow instructions (i had this problem as a young elementary school student too). the other day i was purchasing a single item - parchment paper for my baked sweet potato fries to be placed on in the oven - and it took many minutes more then it should have. the scanning process went just fine. it was the purchasing that took time. i swiped my card, enter the pin number, and the screen just kept freezing on the authorizing screen. meanwhile the checkout screen said to wait for an attendant. like usual, the attendant was nowhere to be found. finally one appears for a few seconds, does something, tells me to use my card. right away i think, yea that is what i have been doing. but i figure he adjusted something to allow it to work. same thing. authorizing. wait for an attendant. the boy is long gone and no one else is around. i push the help button finally in desperation. a women comes by to help. she does the same thing as the first boy, only she continues to explaining to either scan my a&p card or hit the no button. this is what he meant by use my card. seeing as a have an a&p card on my key chain, i swipe away and proceed with success to checkout. if i had just gone to a cashier i probably would have been home already at this point.

there is one thing i forgot to mention. something i am quite proud of. i used to shy away from using self-checkout if i had a produce item to purchase. the thought of weighing it and knowing the code and such intimidated me. i no longer live with this fear. some stores provide a station in the produce section where you can enter the code, weigh it and a sticker will be printed that has a bar code for scanning. but at other locations i simply go to the self-checkout, place the item on the scanner to be weighed, and enter the product code number. if it isn't on a sticker on the item, i simply look it up. though to be honest, there is always a part of me that is afraid i might enter the wrong code and get undercharged and that suddenly some cashier or employ will come after me for the unpaid cents.

amen.

in case you missed jay and my first dance (oh wait, or perhaps you weren't invited...), i just wanted to share the words with you. nothing fancy, but beautiful in it's simplicity and truth.

We will have love
We will have pain
There will be days and days and days that feel the same
We will have fear
We will have joy
And maybe little girls and little boys

We will have friends
We will have peace
There will be nights of lights and music 'til you sleep
We will be strong
We will still break
We'll live through so much more than we can take

Amen
Amen
With the dawn, we all begin again
Amen
Amen
What is done, and yet to come
Amen

We will have hope
We will have doubt
There will be memories we could never live without
We will have tears
But there will be grace
There will be prayers that we never thought we'd pray

Amen
Amen
With the dawn, we all begin again
Amen
Amen
What is done, and yet to come
Amen

In the sun or the storms
The flood or the flames
When everything's wrong, and I'm the one to blame
In heartache or hope
I swear I'll say, I'll say

Amen
Amen
With the dawn, we all begin again
Amen
Amen
What is done, and yet to come
Amen

good intentions...or are they?

"i do not understand what i do. for what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate i do. and if i do what i do not want to do, i agree that the law is good. as it is, it is no longer i myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. for i know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. for i have the desire to do what it is good, but i cannot carry it out. for i do not do the good i want to do, but the evil i do not want to do - this i keep on doing." (romans 7:15-19)

paul says it so perfectly. good and sinful nature cannot coexist. they are constantly at war with each other. sadly, it is our sinful nature that wins much of the time. and the few times that i actually do do good, that is pure grace. it is of God, not of me.

so often i fool myself into thinking that i have good intentions. good intentions that get derailed by sin. but really, sin is at the root of it it. i am not sure that even my intentions are good - unless God is at work i me through the Holy Spirit.

i think of myself as a good person. in fact, too often i think of myself as a great person. i am kind and caring and giving and generous. even loving at times. but come full circle, and what are my intentions in being so? i do it to win people's favor and affections. i do it pridefully so that others like me and think well of me. i am kind and caring and giving and generous...and even loving...for myself. not that i would otherwise intend harm or be mean to others - but i don't often do it purely out of love, Christ-like love, for others in order to glorify God and further His kingdom.

without Christ i don't even have good intentions. i am not great, or even good. i am just sinful nature with pride and selfish ambitions. i am thankful for grace and mercy and the chance to have life in Christ. i am thankful for the sacrifice He made for me, an utterly sinful being, so that i might live. not only that, i am thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit in me to help me grow and stretch and one day become holy because of Christ. i pray that my thankfulness and my realization of how sinful i am take over my life and be transformed.

You are good, You are good

when there's nothing good in me

You are love, You are love

on display for all to see

You are light, You are light

when the darkness closes in

You are hope, You are hope

You have covered all my sin

oh, i'm running to Your arms

i'm running to Your arms

the riches of Your love will always be enough

nothing compares to Your embrace

light of the world

forever reign

(forever reign - hillsong)

it always comes down to these three words: faith, hope, love. it always comes down to the work of the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

grace is enough.

i have a confession: sometimes it doesn't feel like grace is enough (i hope i am not speaking sacreligiously....if that is even a word). sometimes i feel like i need a little more. more from God. sometimes it doesn't seem like enough to get through struggles.

in actuality, i do need more. but it isn't that His grace and love isn't enough. rather, it is me who has not realized (or accepted) His grace and love enough. and as a result of that realization, need to extend it more.

i suppose it is an endless, lifelong lesson - realizing and accepting this grace. i hope and pray that each day i grow more and more in God's grace. i hope and pray that those around me can also grow in that, and that God may use me to help them grow.

calvin college has a sunday night service on campus called 'LOFT': living our faith together (or today?). when i was there, every service ended in singing a song with these words...a benediction...

my friends may you grow in grace

and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior

my friends may you grow in grace

and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ

to God be the glory

now and forever

now and forever, amen.

to God be the glory

now and forever

now and forever, amen.

i pray that we grow in grace, together.

poetry, love, and a snowgirl

unfortunately i seem to have lost the cord that allows me to download photos from my camera to the computer. i was holding off on sharing this blog post until i had found it. i cannot find that cord anywhere. therefore, i have to proceed without the proper photos to complement the words. imagine them as best as possible.

tonight we had a special guest at youth group. a woman named jill who is a reformed pastor and also poet who has been friends with denise for about 15 years. it was an interesting and different experience in which she shared some poetry, talked about her love of poetry, and gave us time to write some of our own. though she doesn't write overtly "Christian" poetry, she often has underlying themes and a faith perspective that a fellow disciple can pick out. when she challenged us to write some of our own, she guided us by encouraging each of us to write about faith, hope, love, trust or charity - to follow up a beautiful and poetic reading of 1 corinthians 13. although the "love chapter" is not about marriage or romantic love specifically (as she pointed out, it is actually about spiritual gifts), i chose to begin writing my poetry about love as it related to my snowy saturday.

love is oblvious to below freezing temperatures

creating a snowman with fluffy, light, unpackable snow

molding and shaping frozen slushy ice buckets into round stackable balls

chiseling out sockets for russell stover chocolate eyes

searching and scrambling the house for red string smiling lips

with numb gloveless hands and a sniffy dripping running nose

refusing to give up when the head crumbles to pieces

not settling for anything less than perfection

all for the joy and desire of his soon to be bride

(since the photos are not accessible at this point, imagine a snowgirl - we thought it looked like a female because of her "hips" - that is somewhat smaller in stature, standing on a bench by a tree. she has oak tree twig arms, a carrot nose, a brown north face winter hat, a green fashionable scarf, red string lips in the shape of a half smile, and russell stover chocolate eyes. she is...was...beautiful. i will add the photos as soon as i find a way, or the cord)

amazing grace.

how very cliche of me, i realize that. but there is nothing cliche about grace.

we who speak "christianese" use the word very frequently. we can even define it (and by define, i mean recite a sunday school or catechism learned explanation of it). we experience grace all of the time, every day, over and over again. yet, despite how often we talk about grace, it is often something that we struggle to truly grasp and recognize. worse yet, we (and by we, i mean i) fail to realize and admit how much we need grace.

most of the time, i do not realize how much grace i need and how often i need it. i walk around thinking i am doing a pretty good job at life, feeling as though i am a pretty good person. false. i am constantly sinning and struggling and the very thought that i feel so comfortable with myself shows that i am sinning. pride. pride needs grace.

last night, jay and i watched our netflix rental. to be completely honest, neither of us were completely in the mood for it. in fact, it had been mailed to us several days before and we had put it off until last night (in our defense, we are pretty busy these days and don't always have time to sit down for a 2-hour movie). but normally we are pretty quick to jump on whatever movie shows up. we both admitted, though, that we probably wouldn't ever quite get in the mood for it, especially not at the same time. 'the passion of the Christ' isn't exactly a sit back and relax kind of movie. but we watched it last night anyway, and it was just what i needed.

the thing is, i need to watch it every day. i'd like to be able to say that the impact of watching it last night lasted into today. but that would be a lie. i am very selfish today...and every day. but especially lately. i am in dire need of grace today.

thankfully, Jesus died once and for all for my sins. based on the visuals i saw last night, grace is very amazing. how He loves.

those around me have shown me an incredible amount of grace lately too. i am thankful for that. i am thankful that God's grace overflows into them so that they can pour it out on me. i pray that the love and grace of Christ so overflows the cup in my life that i can grow in my abilities to reflect it to those around me.