our 9 pound mango.

(photo credits to electicism photography, aside from the last one taken by jason)

this is long overdue. but better late than never? 

yes, better late than never. while the doctors estimated an arrival date (or due date, as more commonly used) of may 4, 2013. despite previous protectiveness of her precious birthday aunt kate became not only more open to the possibility of sharing her day, but even was hoping for it. the day came and went, as did jason's cinco de mayo (or cinco de jayo, as more commonly referred to around here) birthday. we began to think that our little one instead wanted a day all to it's own - not shared with anyone. though not close in relation, i knew someone with a may 6th birthday. not good enough. may 7th seemed available, but perhaps i am forgetting someone. then may 8th came...

maybe i should start at the evening of may 7th to get the full picture. jason and i host and lead (i more host, he more leads) a community group on tuesday nights for church. we have slowly yet steadily been growing over the year to the lovely group of 7 that we are. our group had frequently and faithfully been praying for our little one, and of course jason as i as we prepared for parenthood. that night at least two people had prayed for her, for her arrival. one of them mentioned my water breaking. 

well, that evening i was experiencing what i will call "early" labor. i was having menstrual cramp-like contractions that would range from every 5 minutes to more like every 10 minutes and anywhere in between. they lasted roughly a minute. i knew it wasn't the real thing because of its lack of regularity and increasing intensity. but it was, however, enough to keep me awake. so, like the night before, i camped out in the living room watching television on the couch. around 1:30 i noticed a wetness, which quickly felt like i had peed in my pants. i thought, have i really totally lost control of my bladder? then i thought, wait. did my water just break? so what does any american in the 21st century do? i start googling. what does it feel like when you break your water. after enough reading i decide that it's happened. at least i am fairly confident. confident enough to finally wake up jason around 2:30am. you don't need the play by play, but here is the short version. i call my doctors office, i try to rest a little, cuddling with jason on the couch, dr. zeldina returns the call and tells me i need to come to the hospital, we get ready, jason makes me a sandwich in case i don't get to eat for a while, i shower, he showers, etc. we arrive at valley around 5am and begin what turns into a very long almost 24 hours. 

again, i won't get into the complete, step-by-step review. the nurse confirms that it is indeed amniotic fluid. they admit me to the hospital and begin my antibiotic IV since i had tested positive for group b strep. when dr. levine begins his shift around 7am he comes to see me and check on my progress. the important number: 2 centimeters dilated. not much. he mentions the options - pitocin to get things going, or wait and see if it happens more naturally. we decide to wait. 

in the meantime, we get offered the room with the hydrotherapy tub since i had mentioned in my birth plan that i would like the opportunity to use it at some point. so we move our belongings and re-settle down the hallway. the biggest room in the labor and delivery wing. we wait. we watch tv. jason gets his guitar so he can play and we can sing. we walk. and walk. and walk. i sit on the big ball. i eat ice chips (in case at any point i have to have a c-section, they don't allow you to eat once you are admitted...which is why jason had made me a sandwich before we left home). the monitor shows that i am having contractions - some that i feel, some that i don't. still not regular or intense enough. 

dr. levine comes in around 4pm to check me. 3 centimeters. that's not a good rate of progress. one centimeter over the course of 9 hours. he mentions that my water leaked prematurely and we could potentially be there for another day or two or more if we wait it out. now, i am not one that can go very long without eating. to go another day or two would not be good. so we decide, against or original hopes and plan, to receive pitocin to get things going. 

i still don't feel much the first few hours. we walk more. i sit and sway on the ball more. we watch more television - mythbusters. they are slowly increasing the rate of pitocin being released in my port. the "pain" (i can hardly call it that based on what i first felt) slowly increases and by 9pm i finally know what real contractions feel like. i wish i could put into words - basically i felt like my insides were being ripped out. i grip jason's hand very tightly during that minute of contracts, which are coming much more frequently now. dr. levine checks me again. 4 centimeters. again, not much progress. he mentions that it could potentially take an hour per centimeter...or more. 6 more centimeters to go. 6 hours. 6 hours of this horrible pain, not having eaten in hours, not having slept that night or the night before really. then to have to push this child out - estimated at this point to be about 9 pounds. again, we change from our original plans. give me the epidural.

the worst part of labor and jason is required to go wait, away from me. the contractions are intense. i am nervous about the injection into my spine. forced to maintain an already uncomfortable position, the epidural is not my favorite thing. i am shaking. i even start to cry a little bit and am thankful for the sweet nurse who encouraged me and held me (more for the sake of me needing to be still, though i am sure she would comfort me regardless). when its finally done i get to lay back and wait for it to kick in. they do work on the computers. i look at the clock and realize how long its been and they still haven't gone to tell jason he can come back. i am about to say something - to ask them to get my husband - when he pokes his head in, asking if he is allowed back. my sweet and caring husband has returned. he admits that it was the worst part for him, being away from me and wondering if i was okay. 

so the epidural kicks in and its time to try to rest. except, it never completely kicks in for my left side. the pain is tolerable and definitely a huge improvement, but not mild enough to allow me to sleep. so i settle for resting. getting mini naps in between contractions. but as time goes, i notice the pain in my left side increasing and the i realize it has returned by my right side as well. i try to stick it out but finally push the call button to ask the nurse about it. maybe she can adjust the epidural drip to take away the pain.

at this point it is 3am on may 9th. jason is sleeping on a "pull out" chair beside me. after i tell the nurse about the pain she says she is going to check me. i didn't expect her reponse: "okay, it is time to push." push?! i knew this time would come but it felt very strange that it was now real. i wake jason and all the preparations begin. i won't get anymore detailed....we will skip ahead. after about an hour (which doesn't feel like an hour, surprisingly it feels like less) dr. levine tells me, "okay, just one more and i can do the rest." sure enough. suddenly i have a baby on my stomach. on, not in.

i don't recall hearing dr. levine or the nurses saying anything after that. not that i heard. i looked down and saw the umbilical cord (and for a moment thought, oh it's a boy). then, "it's a girl!"

jason and i basically had one girl's name and hadn't even really discussed a middle name. so at first, she was just grace. 9 pounds, 2 ounces. 21 inches. born at 4:16. grace formicola. we enjoyed her for a while before sharing our excitement with family and friends. and while with our first visitors, my parents in the early morning beginning of visiting hours, we decided on her full name. grace noelle formicola. our precious daughter.

and now i realize how terrible we have been at taking and having photos taken of us. i don't have any photos of us as a family in the hospital, unless someone else took it and i don't know it. must remember this for next time!