temporary retirement.

i have been unemployed for just over two months now. i don't know how i feel about that. it certainly has its pro's and con's, though being unemployed over the holidays was convenient in a lot of ways. school starts for me in less than a week - i am glad for that new stage in my life. i hope to find a job that coincides nicely with my education plan, sooner rather than later, because i am beginning my sense of self worth is quickly dwindling and nearing the bottom.

you would think that since i have quite a bit of time on my hands i would dive into my explanation of how my sisters are my heroes, since both of them seemed to doubt that statement (not doubt my sincerity, but doubt that they deserve such a title). however, i am still forming that blog in my head, so for now i will just share a bit about a christmas gift that i've been enjoying during my "retirement".

i enjoy reading. thankfully, my overall dislike of my humanities/american studies classes in high school (or to be perfectly honest, it was more than just a dislike, but a dread that i felt every morning knowing i had to go to that class) didn't completely ruin reading and books for me. i am the type of reader that won't pick up a book for a few months, but when i do i can barely put it down until it is finished. liesl gave me 3 books as part of my christmas gift and i am just over halfway done with the first one. 'strength in what remains' by tracy kidder. it is a story of a man named deo, a refugee from burundi. the chapters jump back and forth between his amazing survival of the civil war between the hutu's and tutsi's in burundi, and his struggle to build his life here in america.

this book reminds me of how easy i have it here in my very comfortable life (i was going to say "how good i have it here"but that would suggest that others lives, though very different and in a lot of ways more challenging, are not also good). i have never been to burundi, but i have been to kenya and ghana. i have heard a lot of stories and seen a lot of photos that tell the story of genocides in sudan, rwanda, etc. as i read this book i remember a student i met during my semester in kenya at daystar university. sadly, i cannot recall his name. he was from burundi and during a conversation with him i learned that his life was quite similar to the story about deo that i am now reading. he went days and even weeks sometimes not sure if his family was even alive. now that i think back, i think he learned of a family members death later on in the semester.

the more i read, the more i miss africa. the more i read, the more i wonder what i can do to "help". there isn't much i can do to stop the genocides that have taken and continue to take hundreds of thousands of lives. i have a friend, though, who i met in kenya and continue to stay in contact. kerry is a few years older than me, graduated from daystar university, is unmarried with a child that is a just a few years old, and has recently started her own small business in order to support her beautiful daughter. it is easy for us to assume that life would be easier, or even better, if they had the opportunity to come here to the united states, to the land of opportunity so that they too can live the american dream. that isn't the answer or the solution to the problem. i respect and admire kerry and her des

ire to remain in kenya. she probably would have a good chance of being able to come to the US and get a decent job, considering her education. she is choosing to stay there and do what she can do to not only provide for her and her daughter, but also to better kenya. maybe there is still a way to help.