day 40: the next step

"then Jesus said to His disciples, 'if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? for the Son of Man is going to come in His Father's glory with His angels, and then He will reward each person according to what he has done."

matthew 16:24-27

i am a bit speechless at the moment. sometimes the concept of the cross is so simplified but sometimes the reality of it is overwhelming. the cross demands a response - we must make a choice (i must make a choice). but if our choice is Jesus, if we choose to follow Him, we must give up our lives.

You stood before creation

eternity within Your hand

You spoke the earth into motion

my soul now to stand

You stood before my failure

carried the cross for my shame

my sin weighed up on Your shoulders

my soul now to stand

so what can i say

what can i do

but offer this heart oh God

completely to You

so i'll walk upon salvation

Your Spirit alive in me

this life to declare Your promise

my soul now to stand

so what can i say

what can i do

but offer this heart oh God

completely to You

so i'll stand

with arms high and heart abandoned

in awe of the One who gave it all

so i'll stand

my soul Lord to You surrendered

all i am is Yours

(the stand - hillsong)

day 39: as you go...

"then Jesus came to them and said, 'all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. and surely i am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"

matthew 28:18-20

today is good friday. it may seem like the timing is a bit off for this passage - a passage recorded by matthew after Jesus' resurrection but before the ascension. this 40-day journey through david nasser's 'a call to die' is not lent-specific. but i have found it an excellent reflection with lent in mind - with good friday and easter approaching. every day we should be reminded of the cross, but also of the resurrection and then this great commission. with the cross in mind (an awareness of our sin and need for a Savior), we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus on Easter (in acceptance of forgiveness and grace), but we can't stop there. if we the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus does not move us into action, then what is the point?

this great commission is so familiar, yet we often forget it. we either linger at the cross and feel unworthy, or we just keep celebrating easter. the great commission is a command that Jesus gave to his eleven disciples but that continues with you and i. in fact, nasser points out that the original text actually reads "as you are going" rather than "therefore go". Jesus assumes that we will go out, in response to the incredible gift of grace He gave us.

we are not just commanded, but we are invited to join in Christ's mission. it is not just a responsibility, but a privilege! we are not much different than the disciples - just as they failed to understand Jesus over and over again, so do we. they made excuses, so do we. they had doubts, so do we. in fact, read the verses before the great commission. matthew reveals something interesting. the eleven disciples proceed to galilee to the mountain Jesus designated. when they saw Him, they worshiped Him. "but some were doubtful" (matthew 28:17b). they had just witnessed an incredible miracle - a death and resurrection of their friend and leader, Jesus. yet they continued to have doubts? so do we. yet just as Jesus commissioned the eleven to share in his heart and his mission, God continues to commission us.

make disciples - this is our great task we are called to. not church-goers. not members of youth group. make DISCIPLES - people who obey and follow Jesus Christ. it seems like a daunting task. so how do we do it? we make disciples by being disciples. we have to be willing and available to be used by God. as we mentioned yesterday, we are not expected to produce the result. we are expected to obey and God will do the rest, through the work of the Holy Spirit.

don't forget the end of the commission - "and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Jesus ascends into heaven but we are given the Holy Spirit. when we encounter difficulties we need to remember that He is still with us and we can go on.

Lord, move me beyond the cross and resurrection into action. continue to grow in me and build me into a disciple so that i can go out and make disciples. when it is hard and scary, remind me that you are with me always through the gift of the Holy Spirit. thank you for using even me, a sinner, to share in your mission.

day 38: God can use you

"Jesus said to the servants, 'fill the jars with water;' so they filled them to the brim. then he t old them, 'now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.' they did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine."

john 2:7-9

this story is familiar to most of us, i imagine. it is the beginning of Jesus' signs - the first of the miracles. Jesus and his mother, mary, are at a wedding in which the host runs out of wine (which would be an embarrassment in a culture that values hospitality and providing for guests). it is mary who goes to Jesus. but he responds to her by saying it has nothing to do with them, that his hour has not yet come. but mary tells the servants there to do whatever Jesus tells them to. Jesus acts. he tells the servants to fill the six stone waterpots. after they do so he tells them to take some out and bring it to the headwaiter. the water has turned into wine - the best tasting wine.

it is familiar to us because of the miracle that Jesus performs. Jesus turns water into wine. but the miracle involves other people. mary acts by asking Jesus to do something. the servants act in obedience to his instructions. in fact, take not of the details. mary tells the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do just after Jesus has said that the situation is none of their business, that his hour "has not yet come." she acts in faith, in confidence, because she knows the character of Jesus. the servants participate in the miracle as well. the task may not seem unusual to them, but they obey. not only do they put some water in the waterpots - they fill them to the brim. they don't just obey to the extent that is acceptable - they obey completely.

did Jesus need to use anyone else in order to perform the miracle? did he need the existing waterpots, let alone the people, in order to turn water into wine? no. Jesus had the power and ability to act all on his own, but he chose to use others.

does God need us to accomplish his purpose? no. He could do it all Himself. yet, he chooses to use us each and every day. we need to be available and obedient when God asks. "our availability allows us to do the things that we can do to set a backdrop for God to do the mighty things only he can do." the result is not our responsibility. the result should not be our goal either. in fact, we may not always even see the outcome of our obedience. what God asks us to do may not be anything great or extraordinary. in this story, the servants simply followed every day orders - something they did every other day. but Jesus used these everyday people by asking them to do everyday things.

the task may seem simple. sometimes it may even seem "beneath" what we think we are worth. filling up the waterpots was no grandiose task, but the servants filled them to the brim. we must be willing to do our best too, not settle for anything less.

Lord, it is a privilege to be used by you for your glory. open my ears and my heart to be available and obedient when you ask me to do something.

day 37: a fork in the road

"and whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. but if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

matthew 18:5-6

the disciples just don't get it, do they? at this point they have heard countless teachings and witnesses several miracles. they have walked and talked with Jesus, experienced the very essence of who he is and what he is about. yet here they are asking Jesus who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven (the account found in mark 9:33-37 reveals that Jesus asked them what they had been talking about - he must have overheard them arguing). they are still distracted by power and greatness, rather than grasping that the kingdom of God is a kingdom of service. Jesus himself came to serve. so Jesus brings in a child as a prop. he tells them that unless the become like this child, they will not even look at the kingdom let alone enter it and be "great" among it. he adds that whoever humbles himself like this child will be the great in the kingdom of heaven.

we still don't really get it, do we? we have the entire bible in front of us as an example - we don't have to make the same mistakes - but as soon as we walk away we fall back into the same habit. we want to have power. we want to be great. instead of seeking places of service, we seek positions of advantage. i am not just talking about in the "secular" world; we do it in the church. i will be the first to admit it.

as a youth group leader, i am involved in the lives of dozens of high school students. even when i was in college, before i came back home to new jersey, i knew that i eventually wanted to get involved in this ministry. i looked around and thought about many of my friends and noticed something - many of them seemed to be drifting further in their faith then when i first met them freshman year. i would dare say that some of them probably wouldn't even consider themselves Christians at this point. it saddened me as many of them had been in leadership positions when they were in high school - either in their youth groups or schools or churches. i decided that i wanted to become part of the discipleship phase of high school students before they headed to college (i think part of me foolishly thought that i could "fix" this problem and help grow high school Christians into strong college Christians).

i lose sight of this goal, even if it is idealistic. too often i let my role as a youth leader become about me, when it is really all about them. i act selfishly, seeking approval and acceptance, looking for positions of advantage instead of humbly and selflessly seeking a place of service. i let silly things get in the way of me serving them as best as i can. i become childish, rather than childlike.

Jesus gives a strong warning. whoever causes a child to stumble in their faith would be better off drowning in the sea. this is not a joke. my role as a youth group leader should not be taken lightly. God may use me to be a fork in the road. i must do everything i possibly can (through service, not power) to help guide them towards the road that leads to Jesus. i don't have to have a certain ability, i don't have to be somebody i am not. "i just have to be faithful to let God communicate his love and grace in me and through me."

Lord, give me a childlike faith that is not concerned with power or approval, but whose strength comes from enjoying being loved by you and having a simple heart of trust in you.

day 36: watch your words!

"but the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'."

matthew 15:18

we like to talk. some certainly like to talk more than others, but overall we enjoy communicating with others. i find the days that i like the least are the days in which i have little opportunity to talk to others. one of the things i loved about my job at the nursery a few years ago is that i was constantly interacting with others - talking in spanish or english. but how much of what we say is "good"? how much of it is worth hearing? if someone recorded everything that you said in a 24-hour-period and then played it back to you after, would you be embarrassed and regret things that came out of your mouth? i know i would.

Jesus says that "the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart" (matthew 12:34). he compares it to a tree and it's fruit, "either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit" (matthew 12:33). bad fruit comes from a bad tree, just as evil words come from an evil heart.

at times, my words can be like daggers. a hurt or bitterness in my heart is revealed by the words that i speak. as i have mentioned before, it stems from a sinful desire to hurt the person who has hurt me. other times, though, i don't even realize when i am doing it. i don't realize what garbage is pouring out of my mouth. sometimes it is in the form of gossip. sometimes it is boastful. whatever form it comes in, they are words better off left unsaid.

but if we simply keep from saying what we are thinking, is that enough? it may stop us from saying something we will regret, but does it fix the problem of the heart? like david said in psalm 51, we need pure hearts that only God can create. "he is the one who gives us love instead of bitterness, thankfulness instead of cursing, kindness instead of sarcasm."

Lord, create in me a pure heart. renew a steadfast spirit within me.

day 35: honor your parents

(apparently it happened again without me realizing it - you thought i slacked off and didn't blog yesterday? nope, for some reason it just didn't post. either i am losing it or someone is trying to tell me to stop blogging. again, a modified version.)

"for God said, 'honor your father and mother' and 'anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' but you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it. thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition."

matthew 15:4-6

i was a bit confused upon reading these verse at first. what exactly did Jesus mean when he said "whatever help you might otherwise have received from me"? why is it now devoted to God? Jesus is speaking to the pharisees and scribes after their attempt to attack the disciples for breaking a tradition of washing their hands before eating bread. Jesus, as always, answers them wisely. he raises the issue of transgressing the commandment of God for the sake of their traditions. it is a reference to corban vows. a corban (meaning "offering") vow required one to dedicate money to God's temple - money that otherwise would have been given to support their parents. as Jesus points out, they were abusing a tradition. it had become a way to neglect parents. the action of giving money to God was of course worthy but many were ignoring God's command to care for their parents, to honor and obey them.

today we do not observe many of the traditions that the pharisees held so dear. but isn't to suggest that we perfectly follow God's commands either. corban vows have been replaced with lazyness and excuses. our pride and selfishness keep us from honoring our parents as we ought.

i don't think my parents ever expected me to be living with them at the age of twenty-nine (not that i expected this either). but they are loving and supportive. they are generous and caring. they continue to make sacrifices for my sake even now. i don't consider myself disobedient necessarily, but i don't think that i always honor them as i should.

"our motive for obeying should always be to glorify and honor God."

Lord, forgive me for being lazy and making excuses, for not honoring my parents as i should. thank you for parents who love me and have been the foundation of my faith in you. help me to love them better through honor and obedience.

day 34: not peace, but a sword

"do not suppose that i have come to bring peace to the earth. i did not come to bring peace, but a sword."

matthew 10:34

this passage, along with the verses around it (matthew 10:34-39), is a bit surprising. i imagine it was a bit confusing for the disciples to hear. Jesus and sword just don't seem to go in the same sentence. we think of Jesus as a loving and peaceful Savior, forgetting that he was revolutionary who stirred up conflict. in this passage, Jesus is preparing the disciples for persecution.

it is an interesting follow up to the previous chapter: serving one master. following Jesus is a choice that demands all of us. you can't follow Jesus half way; you can't follow Him and something else. Jesus is warning them about opposition - opposition which may come from within the family. many of us have this notion that when we choose to follow Jesus, life will be easy and peaceful. but as nasser points out, "we will have peace in our hearts, not necessarily in our relationships."

the literal meaning of this text is hard for me to understand and apply. in a lot of ways, i am a Christian because of my family. my grandparents laid down a foundation of faith that my parents then laid down for me. i don't face conflict or persecution within my family because of my faith. so i cannot even imagine having to more or less decide between the two - family or Jesus. but i have friends who don't share the same story. they became Christians later on in life, while their family members remain non-believers. i can see their struggle with this - it divides their heart.

for me, the deeper meaning lies in choosing which master to serve. i may not face great conflict or persecution from friends or family because of my faith. but there are plenty of other distractions and temptations that try to keep me from serving Jesus. if i am serious about following Him, i must take up my cross.

Lord, you want to be number one in my life. forgive me when i let anything else get in the way, when i love other things or people more than you. fill me with your Spirit to help me take up my cross and follow You.

day 33: serving your master

(attempt #2 - trying to recall the original)

"no one can serve two masters. either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. you cannot serve both God and money."

matthew 6:24

our culture doesn't know much about having a master or serving. we are a society that celebrates individualism, independence, self-sufficiency and cannot grasp the concept of being a slave to someone or being served. yet we all have masters. we all have something that takes our time and focus. for some of us, that individualism is in way our master. many of us are slaves to money. maybe our job, our career and profession, become our master. other people - family or friends - can become a master to us. we don't usually realize it but each of us become a slave to something and it is very rarely Jesus that we are serving.

"God requires complete, abject devotion. anything else is idolatry, and it is destructive." even a good thing - even our work in the church as a pastor, youth leader, worship leader, etc. - can become a master to us if we aren't careful. the church, rather than Jesus himself, becomes our master. we have good intentions but our heart wanders. as Christians, we know that we are to serve Jesus. as the passage points out, we try to serve two masters - Jesus and riches, Jesus and fame, Jesus and fun, Jesus and...(you fill in the blank). but we can't serve to masters. one of them will get the short end of the stick and usually that is Jesus.

as i have mentioned in the past, the three missions trips i went on with the high school youth group (boston, ghana, cairo) were some of the best weeks of my life and the students would agree. it makes sense, in light of this chapter on this passage. "if we aren't consumed with money, possessions, and prestige, and if we daily seek the heart and will of God, our lives will be filled with peace, joy, and purpose."

earthly masters, whatever it may be, destroy us and leave us empty, unsatisfied, and alone. Jesus fills us. He loves us. when we serve him, we are filled with peace, joy, and purpose.

Lord, forgive me when i try to serve two masters, or worse yet, when i serve one master that is not Jesus. help me to hold on to things loosely so that i be filled with you - your peace, your joy, your purpose.

frustration.

i posted a blog (day 33: serve your master) this morning, or so i thought. i don't know what happened to it. to top it off, i don't even see it in any saved drafts, which blogspot usually saves every few minutes automatically. i don't know when, but i will try to recreate that blog...i hope that the original somehow shows up. cross your fingers.

day 32: fasting

"when you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. i tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. but when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to met that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

matthew 6:16-18

the one and only time that i exercised the discipline of fasting was in middle school during the heirborne 30-hour famine. i would hardly consider it fasting. although they now practice a more strict fasting, we had milkshakes and juice. not huge quantities of either one but enough to keep us from really reaching the point of "starving." the point of the 30-hour famine is a little bit different than the biblical fasting too. it was a fundraiser to raise awareness (and money) of those around the world living in poverty with very little to eat or drink.

fasting is not a common practice today, at least not among those i interact with. maybe there are some who do practice it as Jesus commanded - in secret - but it is still not common or frequently talked about even in our church community. i guess that explains why aside from the 30-hour famine i have never practiced it myself.

notice what the passage says - "when you fast" not "if you fast". there are old testament practices that we no longer observe as a result of the new covenant and Jesus' sacrificial death on the cross. i don't think that fasting fits into this category, though. i think fasting has become a commonly overlooked practice in the lives of many Christians today.

david nasser says,"fasting is spiritual concentration. in this case, you are concentrating your mind, soul, and body to know God and to know his will." he says that each of us apply the concept of fasting in our daily lives. when we have a big exam or project at work or something that needs intense concentration, we put aside favorite habits (television, talking to friends, etc.), go to bed late and get up early, possibly even miss a meal here or there in order to get the job done and learn the material. spiritual fasting involves similar concepts. we are to put aside favorite habits, possibly even give up some sleep and food, in order to seek God's will.

Jesus fasted for forty days in the wilderness before starting his earthly ministry. can you imagine, forty days?! he did it in order to prepare himself for his ministry of teaching and redeeming - to know His Father and His will.

perhaps i should take the practice of fasting further than fasting from facebook. i could fast - even just short-term - before i make major life decisions and seek God's will. i could fast before stepping into a ministry or before heading out on a missions trip, so that i can concentrate my mind, my soul, and my body to know God.

Lord, sometimes i struggle to seek and figure out your will for my life. help me to follow the example of Jesus, who fasted in order to know you in preparation for ministry. fill me with you.

day 31: praying

"and when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

matthew 6:7-8

imagine you have a friend (if you can even call them that). this friend talks about you to others, telling them how great you are and how important you are to them. they even tell others that they should be friends with you too. you give them a lot of gifts - one very big and incredible gift - but they very rarely show appreciation to you for any of it. this friend doesn't spend very much time with you. there may be long weekends, or weeks, here and there where you spend a lot of time together and talk a lot. but overall, there is very little communication. in fact, most of the time, the only time that this friend talks to you is when something is wrong and they need your help. it doesn't seem like a very healthy relationship or even a very desirable one. Jesus must feel like that most of the time with me.

i have the opportunity, an amazing privilege, to talk to God any time (or all day) of every day. but more often then not, i pass up the opportunity. when i do take up the opportunity it is because i have a problem or things are not going as well as i expect. i cannot even imagine how much it must hurt God when i do this.

"the purpose of prayer is not to change God's mind. it is to get our hearts in line with his will and his Spirit." when we pray we recognize our complete dependence on him. this is part of my problem - i have become and overly-independent Christian that tries to do everything on my own. it isn't until i have completely messed something up or simply cannot do it on my own that i come to God for help.

i often struggle with trying to seek God's will in making decisions in my life. i know people who make a decision and then explain it as God calling them to something, or God made clear His will to them. there is a part of me, a skeptical part of me, that wonders whether they don't simply hear what they want to hear and convince themselves it is God's will (mind you, i do not think this is always the case, but i do think it can be a danger). decisions haven't always been as clear for me. maybe i actually did follow God's will and calling and am just second-guessing, or maybe i haven't developed a relationship with God that allows me to know Him that well.

then there are those verses in Scripture in which Jesus says that if we ask for something in His name, it will be given to us. Jesus didn't mean that we could ask for something we want, or think we need, and ask for it in His name so that we get it. "it means to pray as His child, in His will, and for His glory."

paul encourages the thessalonians (and us) to pray continually. if we are in constant prayer we are in a receptive, communicative position with God.

Lord, forgive me for coming to you in prayer when it is convenient for me. forgive me for doubtful prayers. teach me to listen.

day 30: hold things loosely

"but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

matthew 6:3-4

i remember when i was young my parents would hand me money to put in the collection plate as an offering. it was embarrassing if my parents didn't have a dollar bill and i had to try to place the quarters that they had scrambled from their wallet as quietly as possibly in the plate. i have seen my sisters do the same for their kids. on occasion i have even been the one handing dollar bills to my nieces and nephews to give as an offering.

it seems like a common and simple practice but i think it reflects something more. they money that i put in the plate was not my own. it was my parents (at least until i was old enough to have some money to give). now the money i give is money that i have earned or worked for, but it still is not mine really. it is God's. He has blessed me with it. just as i tried to be as quiet as possibly when dropping change into the plate instead of bills, i should try to be as discrete as possible and give in secret. no one else needs to know what i give, nor do i need to know what others give. it is between me and God, them and God.

money reveals a lot about the heart. it has been said that if you want to see what is important to a person, look at what they spend their money on. i am not sure that says a lot about me right now. my current but temporary financial situation combined with being a "student" of dave ramsey's financial peace university has limited my budget. right now my money is spent on necessities. but i will be honest and admit that this situation has effected my giving. obviously i cannot give what i was giving before but am i giving with faith, or am i giving slightly in fear?

nasser outlines four keys to giving to keep in mind. give generously. "whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly" (2 corinthians 9:6). give cheerfully. in fact, if you can't give cheerfully then don't give at all. God doesn't need my money. He is God. don't compare. "the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have" (2 corinthians 8:12). what i can give is not going to be the same as what the person next to me can give. give something you value. this goes beyond money. we value our time, energy, possessions, etc. instead of donating our old, worn-out toys and clothes, give out of abundance. give up that valued possession.

we should never give in order to receive. the reward for giving is the fact that we have glorified God. what greater reward is there anyway?

Lord, everything that i have comes from You and is therefore Yours to use. help me to hold on to things loosely, giving generously and cheerfully things that i value without comparing myself to those around me.

day 29: love one another

"dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

1 john 4:11

how many times do you think love is mentioned in the Bible? i don't know the answer, but i don't think i could count it on my two hands. part of me doesn't like the word "ought" that may of the bible translations use for this verse. to me "ought" sounds more like a suggestion that a command. it is like saying "we also should love one another." well yes, of course we should. but i think that Jesus was more than merely suggesting this to those he taught. i think Jesus commands, even demands, love of us.

let me make another confession: i am really good at loving those who love me (at least i think so, correct me if i am wrong). i would dare to say that i love to love others. good, right? Jesus commands that i love others. did you catch the end of my confession? i am good at loving THOSE WHO LOVE ME. i don't think that is what Jesus commanded.

i have been a high school youth group leader for four years (well, this is my fourth year). i have had people tell me that i have a gift for youth ministry and some even assume that i could carry this into teaching. maybe. they observe and see students hugging me and talking to me and joking around with me, which certainly does happen. they see the way that i love them and spend time with them. they see that they often trust me with their problems and struggles. but what they don't see is what this reveals about me and my heart and my inclination to love those who love me. loving those who love me is easy. it makes me feel good; it makes them feel good.

what about the others? i am not just talking about youth group either but the bigger picture. i would not go so far as to say that i do not love them, cause i genuinely do. but do i do as good of a job showing it? do i make them feel loved? do i demonstrate the love of God to them as well?

then there are the people in my life that i have a hard time loving. maybe they hurt me and even if i have forgiven them it is hard for me to love them. maybe they simply don't pay attention to me or ignore me or resist every attempt i make to connect to them. david nasser mentions the bullies, the competitors, the loners and the 'too cool' as people who may be hard to love.

matthew resports one of Jesus' teachings on love. he overturns what the people had grown up in: love your neighhbor and hate your enemy. now he commands: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. then he adds, "for if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? do not even the tax collectors do the same?" (matthew 5:46) ouch. i am no better than a tax collector. i am no better than a non-Christian who simply those that love them.

to love others is not merely a suggestion. to love those who love you is not enough. if God lived by that standard we would all be in trouble. if He only loved me when i love Him, i wouldn't be very loved. but He does love me, no matter what.

Lord, fill me with the Holy Spirit and work in my heart so that i may grow to love as You love - to love others regardless of whether or not they love me. thank you for loving me even when i don't love in return.

day 28: don't take revenge

"you have heard that it was said, 'eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth.' but i tell you, do not resist an evil person. if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."

matthew 5:38-39

i don't think of myself as someone who seeks revenge. not many of us do. i am not going to take an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. but maybe i will take a tooth for an eye. i am not going to replicate the behavior of someone who hurt me so that i can intentionally get back at them. but usually i subconsciously (or consciously, sometimes) find a passive way of hurting them back. because of the hurt i experienced, i want the other person to feel discomfort and pain too. i have done this with family, with friends, and even employers. i was never taught revenge, but is a basic instinct of my sinful nature. you hurt me, i want you to pay for it.

forgiveness is an unnatural act. we desire justice. but forgiveness is the mark of anyone who chooses to follow Jesus. david nasser points out two important truths in regard to forgiving those who have hurt us: "our ability to forgive others comes from our experience of being forgiven for our own sins, we can leave justice in God's righteous hands." we must keep the cross at the forefront of our minds. the cross reminds us of the grace God has shown us. our ability to forgive others depends on the extent to which we understand that. i will never be asked to forgive anyone (or everyone) more than God has forgiven me, through the death of His Son. one of the reasons i struggle to forgive is because i don't want that person to be off the hook. but paul remind us in the book of romans that it is God's to avenge. He will handle it.

forgiveness doesn't stop here. it isn't just moving on and letting God handle it. Jesus gave instructions on how to treat those who hurt us, who we have forgiven. if our enemy is hungry we should feed them. if they are thirsty we are to provide them with a drink (romans 12:20). we are to show them kindness and compassion. we must love them.

loving someone who has hurt us isn't natural either. i know that i don't feel like they deserve my love. but then again, do i deserve Jesus? do i deserve God's love? let's face it. in my twenty-nine years i have hurt God far deeper and far more often then i will ever be hurt in my lifetime. but God loves me anyway.

Lord, give me the strength to forgive those who have hurt. more then that, give me the strength to love them, as you have forgiven and loved me.

day 27: speak the truth

"and do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. simply let your 'yes' be 'yes', and your 'no' be 'no'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

matthew 5:36-37

Jesus continues his series of teachings. he taught about anger and the need for reconciliation, he taught about lust and sex, now he continues with a teaching about vows. people were in the habit of making vows and oaths and promises. one would swear by the temple, another by the alter in the temple. a need to emphasize that we are speaking the truth. Jesus brought it up because people were breaking promises and using sacred language casually and carelessly. they made vows and took oaths casually, giving their word while knowing it wouldn't be kept, or swearing falsely in God's name. these oaths, or vows, were common but Jesus tells them not to use them. Jesus says not to use them. their word alone should be enough. if they tell the truth all of the time, it won't be necessary to follow it up with a promise.

can we relate to that? (where do we think pinky promises came from? or swearing on the Bible in court?) i can think of several occasions where i found myself having to add "i promise" as an assurance to someone that i would do what i said. not so much because people don't expect the truth from me, or for me to do what i say, but because we have become conditioned to being lied to. even the people who love us most, who we should be able to count on, lie to us. we eventually expect dishonesty.

i hate being lied to. i would even venture to say that i not only hate lies, but i dislike when someone doesn't tell me the truth without lying. dishonesty is sure to break trust and ruin any relationship i am in. but, do i hold myself to the same standards?

the problem is that we hardly see the problem with lying and don't even consider some of truths is lying or dishonesty. we write them off as harmless to make ourselves feel better. we lie to prevent someone from getting hurt. (is that really loving them though?) we distort the truth or rephrase things to get away with it. we exaggerate. (is that not a form of lying?)

again, it is a sin that deals with the heart. when i am lied to it hurts because the other person, someone who is supposed to love me and care about me, is basically telling me that i don't deserve the truth. when they lie to me, or when i lie to others, we are being selfish. we are saying that we care more about ourselves then the person we lie to or lie about. we want to impress others, make ourselves look good, even if it means making someone else look bad. we lie because we don't want to expose ourselves - who and what we really are. we lie to cover our sins.

every lie drives a wedge in our relationship with others. i admitted that it ultimately destroys whatever relationship i am in because it destroys my ability to trust them. as Christians, lying has even greater consequences. "we erode the relationships with fellow believers that should be some of the strongest, most transparent and honest relationships in our lives." but lies can also damage our witness. it may become a stumbling block for a non-believer.

we must speak the truth in love. our 'yes' must be 'yes' and our 'no' must be 'no'.

Lord, help us to speak the truth about ourselves, about others, and most importantly about you. give us wisdom and integrity to be honest in order to build each other up.

day 26: sex

"but i tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. if your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."

matthew 5:28-29

we Christians often think and act like the pharisees. the pharisees were extremely legalistic and made sure to obey the many laws very literally. it is just as easy for us to look at the ten commandments and feel okay about ourselves, at least in regard to some of them. i have not murdered. i have never stolen anything. i certainly haven't committed adultery. as we mature we realize that we can kill someone, not literally, with our words or commit adultery with lust. but i don't think too many of us even put ourselves in that category. if we aren't having sex outside of marriage (or outside of our marriage) and we don't struggle with lust or addiction to porn we must be okay, right?

sex is everywhere. our culture is flooded with it. sometimes i am surprised at what is shown on television (on shows and at times that younger children could still be watching), what is allowed in a PG-13 movie, what is talked about on the radio or sung about in songs and then played on the radio, etc. sometimes i am not surprised though and i should be. sometimes i should change the channel or the station, and i don't. i convince myself that it doesn't have an effect on me. maybe it doesn't.

i volunteer as a high school youth group leader and have built relationships with a lot of these students. when you have a relationships with someone you love and trust, you have conversations about very real topics. a few years ago we did a 3-part series that included relationships, dating, and eventually sex. the discussions as a part of this series and the conversations i have had more specifically reveal a mindset that is common to youth today. i don't think it is unique to teenagers but extends even to young adults and maybe even older. we seem to think that so long as we are not actually having sex (which these days needs further definition, but i won't get into), it is okay. anything else is fair game. is this much different than the literal interpretation of "do not commit adultery" in comparison to the idea that lust is sin?

sin is primarily of the heart. when we sin we are saying that we desire our own way rather than what God wants for us. this concept applies to sex but it applies to any other sin that we struggle with too. therefore, we must guard our hearts. proverbs 4:23 says, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Lord, help me to guard my heart from things that you do not want for me. if need be, rid my life of the things that tempt me and pull me away from you.

day 25: be reconciled

"therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

matthew 5:23-24

i think it is safe to say that all of us, at one time or another, have experienced a broken relationship. as hard as we try, and as good as our intentions are, our sinful nature has the ability to weaken or even destroy even the best of relationships. sin creeps in, getting the best of us, and it attacks the relationship at the weakest points. until there is reconciliation, the relationship will remain strained or completely broken.

matthew offers us Jesus' teaching on anger, on brokenness. we may not offer gifts at the altar, but we offer our bodies as living sacrifices in true worship to God. Jesus teaches us that if we have a relationship with someone that isn't right, we must reconcile that first and then come to worship. i know what you are thinking. we are supposed to worship God all day, every day with our lives. in other words, Jesus is telling us that we must not delay the reconciliation, but work it out immediately.

we think to ourselves, it isn't that easy. we compose a list of "what if's" in our head and they become excuses to procrastinate. i know for me, i have gone months with relationships remaining broken. some of the "what if's" that stop me include: what if she hurt me too? what if she refuses to accept my apology, or simply doesn't care? what if words fail me and i can't express myself right?

Jesus's teaching is simple and clear. be reconciled to that person. confess what you did. express appropriate sorrow. make restitution.

Lord, show me where i have hurt others. help me to swallow my pride, die to myself, and be reconciled to the person i have hurt, so that i may offer my life as a living sacrifice.

day 24: our #1 priority

"one of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 'teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?' Jesus replied: 'love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' this is the first and greatest commandment. and the second is like it: 'love your neighbor as yourself.' all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments."

matthew 22:35-40

matthew gives an account in which we see Jesus being tested again. the lawyer is trying to trip Jesus up, but Jesus outwits them again. instead of picking which law (out of about six hundred or more laws) is the greatest, Jesus answers with what ties all of the laws together. He gives a reason for observing all of the other laws - love for God. he adds to it the second part, loving others. you cannot love God if you do not love your neighbors. they go hand in hand.

one of my favorite verses is very short and simple, 1 john 4:19. "we love because He first loved us." for me it reflects the heart of the Gospel. God loved/loves us first. He loves us so much that He gave us His one and only Son to die so that we might live. (john 3:16) it is only in response to His love that we even begin to love Him. not only are we to love God, but others. it doesn't say "we love God because He first loved us." it simply says, "we love."

the apostle paul often speaks of God's love. romans 8 includes a passage that is very familiar to us. nothing can separate us from the love of God. nothing. in communicating God's love to high school students, we often use this saying: there is nothing you can do to make God love you less, there is nothing you can do to make God love you more. do i always believe that? or do i treat God like other relationships in my life, where i am constantly trying to earn or deserve love?

unfortunately, we have distorted love. i know i have. love usually becomes about me, rather than others and more importantly God. i start out with good intentions - i wanted to show a person the kind of love that, as much as humanly possibly, resembled a Christ-like love. i wanted to offer them an unconditional love that contrasted many of the relationships they knew and expected. but slowly my own selfishness crept in and corrupted any good intentions i initially had. my selfishness - my love of feeling loved - ended up hurting the relationship, hurting others, hurting myself, and hurting God.

nothing i do can make God love me less. nothing can separate me from the love of God. He loves us, first and last. there is a popular song by david crowder called 'how he loves.' a line towards the end says this: "i don't have time to maintains these regrets when i think about the way that He loves us."

Lord, thank you for loving me first. thank you for loving us so much that while we were and are sinners, you died for us. thank you for loving me, despite myself.

day 23: daily grace

"the teachers of the law and the pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. they made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, 'teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. in the law moses commanded us to stone such women. now what do you say?'"

john 8:3-5

if this story is familiar to you, you know that you need to read more than just verses 3 thru 5 in order to get the whole picture. Jesus is in the temple, teaching to the crowds that joined him. the pharisees bring in a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. (can you imagine how she must feel at that point?) they point out that the law of moses commands them to stone a woman for such a sin and ask Jesus what they should do. john reports that Jesus doesn't respond but stoops down and begins writing on the ground. (what could he have been writing?) the persist in asking Jesus what should be done so Jesus stands up. they are expecting him to either command them to stone her (which would get him in trouble - the romans do not allow the jews to carry out their own executions), or to let her go (a violation of moses' law). his response is unexpected and amazing. "he who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" (john 3: 7). with these words Jesus not only avoids the tests of the Pharisees, but he offers an important point in his teaching. he makes a statement about judging others. it doesn't end here, as we know. he stoops down again to write on the ground. (what is he writing???) one by one, the pharisees leave the temple and eventually the woman is left alone with Jesus. what could possibly be running through her mind at this point? is she feeling relieved that the pharisees will not stone her? or is she feeling even worse now left with Jesus? again, he speaks with words quite different than we would find ourselves saying. he asks the woman where the men went, did no one condemn her? she says, "no one, Lord." Jesus speaks with grace, "i do not condemn you either. go. from now on sin no more."

upon first reading this it is easy to feel like we have just seen a really good movie, where the good guy wins. we look at the pharisees and think of them as jerks who dragged the woman to the temple and then left as cowards when they realized they are full of sin too. we don't initially relate to the pharisees, but we should. i look at my own life and think, well i have never put someone on the spot like that for their sins or wrongdoings. maybe not but have i never judged someone and considered myself better than them? when someone i know is struggling, even with sin, do i hurt them more (not literally dragging them out in public, of course) or do i help them?

these verses speak against judging others and not being hypocritical, but it doesn't end there. Jesus offers the adulterous woman grace. He does not condemn her. He encourages her to go on and sin no more. grace provides hope, fills us with thankfulness, and calls us to obey.

for a long time grace was just a "Christian" word that i knew from church and sunday school. i have talked about grace and used it in sentences. but i didn't fully grasp it, understand it, or realize what it means in my life until more recently. i don't realize how much i need grace, how much my life depends on it, often enough. "the more we are aware of our sinfulness, the more we will be aware of God's grace." i am sinful. i have made, and continue to make, a lot of mistakes. i often try to correct my mistakes on my own - i do what it takes to right the wrong, to amend a relationship, to fix what i have broken. there is nothing i can do to atone for my sins. but the good news is that i don't have to, Jesus already did.

no matter what i have done, God's grace is greater. how much does God love me? as much as He loves Jesus.

Lord, continue to teach me about grace and make me more aware of how much i need your amazing grace.

day 22: be a doer

"do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. do what it says. but the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

james 1:22, 25

a year ago i went on an 11-day trip to ghana, west africa with 13 other people - 4 other adults, 9 students - on a youth group missions trip. it was an experience that none of us will forget. we may forget details - names of people, places, things we did, etc - but there is something we will never forget. ghanaian children (and adults) love to be photographed. more then that, they love to see themselves in the photo. their reactions to seeing themselves is priceless. each of us took dozens of photos of the children and spent just as much time showing them the results. i brought a video camera with me in addition to my digital camera. their reaction to seeing themselves on video matched, if not topped, their reaction to seeing a photo. the photo below was taken by a friend on the trip, capturing me being bombarded by pre-school aged children who are loving seeing themselves on video.

why is it so fascinating for the children, and even the adults, to see themselves? most of them probably never get to see what they look like, or if they do, not very often. if they do, it is not on camera.

this passage in james makes reference to people who look in a mirror, and then just minutes later forget who they are. he uses this as an example of people who hear the Word but don't do what it says. it is a waste. he encourages Christians to "prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves" (james 1:22).

do we delude ourselves? to delude is "to mislead the mind or judgement of; to deceive; to trick". i often deceive myself and others in regard to my faith. i can talk a pretty good walk, but do i walk the talk? do i live up to the standards that i encourage my youth group students to live by? do i even live up to the standards that i judge others by?

we are called to be doers. i can be a doer. i went to ghana on a missions trip. i give of my time as a youth group leader and play in the worship band. i am generally a "nice" person, i think. is that all james meant? is that all God wants? in a lot of ways, spending 11 days on a missions trip to ghana is easy, as are the other acts. james adds, "pure and undefiled religion in the sign of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world" (james 1:27) what am i doing in my own community?

being a doer isn't always easy. "it challenges our hearts, our motives, our wallets, and our schedules."

Lord, open up my eyes and ears to see your Word, but also use my mouth, my hands, and my feet to do what it says.

day 21: true worship

"therefore, i urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship."

romans 12:1

have you ever played a game involving word association - someone says a word and you immediately have to say what comes to mind? from childhood we develop associations with words. when we hear sky, we think blue. what comes to mind when you hear the word, worship? many of us immediately think songs, music, maybe even church (as in what you do on sunday morning). do any of us first associate worship with lifestyle?

don't get me wrong, singing songs, playing music, going to church are all acts of worship. but it certainly goes beyond that. "when we are walking with Christ, our lives are acts of worship all day every day." it is a lifestyle. nasser calls this 'walking worshipers'. he was once asked on a television program what he saw as the next trend in worship. i'm sure the one interviewing him was looking for something related to contemporary vs. traditional. wisely, david answered with authentic worship. authentic worship is what paul is referring to here in romans 12 but also what Jesus meant in john 4 when he said to the samaritan woman "'yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth'" (john 4:23).

we might be great sunday morning worshipers, at least based on appearances. i worship God not only as a sing but while i play the bass in the worship band. what does my worship look like the friday and saturday night before? do i worship well during the week, when no one else is watching? do i worship with the right motives all of the time?

Lord, you provide a guideline in your word of what worship should be. forgive me and correct me when i get it wrong - when i make worship about me. through the Holy Spirit, show me how to be a true worshiper.

(my apologies for writing this blog one day late. i did my reading and such yesterday but ran out of time to blog. i will make up for it and write two today.)