day 31: praying

"and when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

matthew 6:7-8

imagine you have a friend (if you can even call them that). this friend talks about you to others, telling them how great you are and how important you are to them. they even tell others that they should be friends with you too. you give them a lot of gifts - one very big and incredible gift - but they very rarely show appreciation to you for any of it. this friend doesn't spend very much time with you. there may be long weekends, or weeks, here and there where you spend a lot of time together and talk a lot. but overall, there is very little communication. in fact, most of the time, the only time that this friend talks to you is when something is wrong and they need your help. it doesn't seem like a very healthy relationship or even a very desirable one. Jesus must feel like that most of the time with me.

i have the opportunity, an amazing privilege, to talk to God any time (or all day) of every day. but more often then not, i pass up the opportunity. when i do take up the opportunity it is because i have a problem or things are not going as well as i expect. i cannot even imagine how much it must hurt God when i do this.

"the purpose of prayer is not to change God's mind. it is to get our hearts in line with his will and his Spirit." when we pray we recognize our complete dependence on him. this is part of my problem - i have become and overly-independent Christian that tries to do everything on my own. it isn't until i have completely messed something up or simply cannot do it on my own that i come to God for help.

i often struggle with trying to seek God's will in making decisions in my life. i know people who make a decision and then explain it as God calling them to something, or God made clear His will to them. there is a part of me, a skeptical part of me, that wonders whether they don't simply hear what they want to hear and convince themselves it is God's will (mind you, i do not think this is always the case, but i do think it can be a danger). decisions haven't always been as clear for me. maybe i actually did follow God's will and calling and am just second-guessing, or maybe i haven't developed a relationship with God that allows me to know Him that well.

then there are those verses in Scripture in which Jesus says that if we ask for something in His name, it will be given to us. Jesus didn't mean that we could ask for something we want, or think we need, and ask for it in His name so that we get it. "it means to pray as His child, in His will, and for His glory."

paul encourages the thessalonians (and us) to pray continually. if we are in constant prayer we are in a receptive, communicative position with God.

Lord, forgive me for coming to you in prayer when it is convenient for me. forgive me for doubtful prayers. teach me to listen.