day 1: take up your cross

"then Jesus said to his disciples, 'if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

matthew 16:24

we americans like simple step-by-step instructions to get us from point A to point B. we like to come up with programs that will help us reach our end goal. right now i am taking a financial course being offered by my church - dave ramsey's financial peace university. it involves 7 "baby steps" that if followed should lead to financial peace (and a generous-minded wealth). so thousands of years ago, Jesus offers a three-step approach to becoming His disciple. one, deny myself. two, take up my cross. three, follow Him. simple right?

it is not simple for me. i must deny myself. the problem is that even when i think i am doing the "right" thing and putting others before myself, deep down i still have myself at the very center. i don't even realize how incredibly selfish i am. my ambitions, behaviors, attitude and my desires are all selfish. take a good thing in my life that i am doing - volunteering as a high school youth group leader - and even that act of service is corrupted by my selfishness. when i play as part of the worship band for church is my focus always on God and giving Him all the praise and glory? i wish i could say it were but if i am being honest with myself i know that it isn't true.

my first step, then, is recognizing places in my life that i am being selfish without even realizing it. it is my prayer that God opens up my eyes to those areas in my life and then that He will give me the strength to say "no" to the temptations.

take up my cross. as i alluded to earlier, the majority of the time i do not even realize when i am doing something wrong. in bible study recently we were discussing the second aspect of worship, confession and assurance of pardon. we openly admitted to each other that we often have a hard time thinking of ways in which we have sinned. if we have a hard time even recognizing our sin, how much harder than to admit that we deserve to be executed on a cross as sinners! i imagine that what Jesus said here resonated deeper with the disciples as they had a better understanding of crucifixions. in walking down the road, they might have seen a criminal hanging on a cross as a consequence of their crime. how often do we see anyone punished publically for their crimes/sins?

david nasser points out that Jesus is our example. "He isn't asking us to do anything he hasn't already done to a far higher degree than we will ever do." thankfully, we will never have to endure the suffering that Christ did on the cross. He, though innocent and perfect and blameless, took on the sins of the world. but we still need to take up our crosses.

the last step, follow me, appears to be the easiest of the three. my desire is to follow Jesus, no question about that. but i cannot follow Him if i don't first deny myself and take up my cross. the apostle paul reminds me in philippians 2 of what it means to have the nature of a servant. Christ Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, He made himself nothing and humbled himself to death on a cross.

nasser closes this chapter with a short story about dwight moody who heard a preacher challenge his audience. the preacher said "the world has yet to see what God will do through one man whose heart is completely his." if i deny myself, take up my cross, and follow him, my heart will be completely his.

Lord, i desire to follow you. give me a servant heart that denies myself and takes up my own cross, dying daily to glorify you.